TRICK

gotcha.

I'm trying to find the words
I'm looking at the digital universe
and frowning over my resolution.
I'm trying to decipher what it is - to speak
in a lower volume to emphasize meaning,
picking apart etymologies and cadence
to make sure not to understate.
I'm trying to compromise with you.
I'm trying to ignore subliminal advertising
grammatical indifference
disguised racism and homophobia:
who do you really hate?
I'm trying to teach,
to teach myself to worry about my own education
and you yours.
I'm trying to step over my own boundaries.
I can't subjugate every pronoun to fit my needs,
though I can interpret their meaning.
I'm trying to make this as painless as possible,
but pain -
real, acute, preemptive pain is stronger than I thought.
I'm trying to understand myself,
as only I can do,
all I can do is not give up.